Ashley Elledge

Dear Edward Bloor,

I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing your book entitled, Tangerine. It has impacted my life in several ways. The reason I was so drawn to your book is because I am mostly blind in my left eye. Just like that character Paul I try to ignore the way people talk about me and make fun of me. He and I both share similar feelings about our setback.

I can't count the many times my face has became rosy red with embarrassment because someone noticed that my eyes weren't perfectly aligned. Most of the time my eyes are straight but sometimes they become misaligned because I don't have complete control over my left eye. At times, when I'm nervous or tired, my left eye will wander off and make me look cross-eyed and goofy. When people see this happen I get a vast number of reactions, sometimes people will be taken off guard and sometimes they laugh. Some people turn it into a huge deal and tell everyone in sight. That is very hard to deal with. I try to hide my embarrassment by laughing it off but really I want to run and hide. I feel as if my imperfection is brought into the spotlight for everyone to see. This is kind of how Paul felt when he had to wear his glasses at his soccer games. When people turn my blindness into a big deal it can become very unnerving.

I don't feel I am normal because of my eye and it makes me think I will never have someone get close to me because all they will see is my flaw. I tend to lack self confidence because I question why anyone would want to be around a freak. I get worried that if I get close to someone they will see my eye wander off and it will scare them away. Paul felt the same when he liked a girl from his new school and felt like he couldn't ask her out. This is a tough situation to be in because the way a person reacts to your flaws can make or break your heart.

In ways I admire Paul because he didn't give up soccer like I gave up sports. My depth perception is slightly off, so I'm never the best on the team, and always feel like I am dragging the team down by messing up. I feel like I was making a fool of myself when I did attempt to play sports, so I gave up. Paul, on the other hand, was the star of the team. He worked very hard to become the best goalie. I have learned from Paul that no matter what setbacks I have I can push forward and conquer my goals. It's not going to be easy, in fact, it will be really hard, but I know now if you want something bad enough you need to work hard at it. Another thing I want to take away from your book is the fact that Paul tried not to let people get to him and I'm going to try and do the same.
    
Sometimes I wish I had a copy of your book to give to everyone that has ever made a big deal out of my situation because I think if people knew what it was like to live with blindness they wouldn't take it so lightly. Another reason I wish people would read your book is because I think they would feel bad for making fun of me and everyone else they have ever made fun of. Maybe we can't change the world for how it is when it comes to peoples imperfections, but with books like yours, people can learn. Thanks to your book I try to look at people differently, even more so now than I did before.

I want to say thank you again for writing this book because it has truly impacted my life. Blindness is a part of me and even though it is a setback, I need to conquer it, no matter how much I wish I could change it. I know I can't. I have to live with it for the rest of my life so I might as well deal with it and try to do so with a positive attitude. You have showed me that there is a bright side to everything and I just need to try harder when I have a goal.

Sincerely,

Ashley Elledge