Haley Holbrook

Dear Anne Holm,

" ... They're the eyes of an old man, an old man who has seen so much in life that he no longer cares to go on living ... " Your descriptions through the characters reveal how David's eyes are strange. It made me want to know what was wrong with them. Your words showed me how abuse can leave its mark on children. David said he wanted to live, but his eyes told a different story. I came to understand that even though he wanted to live, his soul had been so damaged that he would never truly live.

After reading I Am David my thoughts changed on the psychological impact of child abuse. I have read other books about child abuse, however, until reading your book never one about what happens to the children after they escape the abuse. I had never thought about how a child's life could be so ruined.

Previously, I had thought kids who escaped abuse would want to live not die.

You showed me this might not be true. Why would David not want to live, enjoying his free life? Then I realized that he had never lived before. He did not know what it was like to not be beaten or to be thought of as a human being. This realization changed my views. When you had beauty be the reason David wanted to live, it took me by surprise. Could beauty have that much impact?  " ... now that he had come to this place of beauty, he no longer wanted to die- he wanted to live ... "

As I read I see David strengthen spiritually. He finds himself and he finds a God, realizing he is a person who has a right to live. When he finds a God it strengthens him because then he knows there is someone who loves him. I connected with this awareness because I had just been confirmed.  I, too, am now closer to God and the church. Your book's character, David, helped me to understand even more that God would always love me and give me strength.

The main thing in your book that made me really think about the psychological impacts was the way he acted, the way he treasured things such as soap, clothes, and just being able to do what he wanted. These are things I take for granted, making me appreciate the things I have like clothing, a home, and a family. David did not only yearn for things, but he yearned for love. Never feeling love, he wanted it so badly. This was the saddest and most ruthless thing those men could do to him. The men that beat him did not only do it physically, but mentally, leaving a child who did not know how to smile or play, taking David's childhood away.

When I finished reading your book I knew I never wanted to cause a child as much pain as David had experienced. While I was reading your book I wanted to help and comfort David. Now I know I want to help children who have been beaten, showing them there is love for them. I also discovered that even though the children will have been damaged forever, with guidance they still can change. I hope someday I can be one of those people who will help an abused child heal. Without your book I would still be in the dark about child abuse and its effects. It taught me an important truth of our world; it is so easy to spiritually hurt someone forever.

Sincerely,
Haley Holbrook